I paused for a moment.
Maybe I can say that I’m still walking forward, just in my own way.
Originally, I’ve always been a very free-spirited person. I never cared much about social common sense, and I could let myself go whenever I wanted. That’s why I like putting myself into routines—because I know I’m not naturally good at them. I know I’m lazy, not stoic, and always like “whatever,” but that never really helps me grow.
When I was young, I was basically a hippie. But at some point, I realized I had to change if I wanted to take care of myself. Since then, I’ve been setting goals and pushing myself—career skills, finances, everything. It’s been over two decades of living like this. Maybe that’s why my photography skills have improved too.
But I also know I’m getting older, and I need to slow down sometimes. I don’t know how other older people think about themselves, but for me, getting older means taking more control over myself than before. If I just throw away everything that feels heavy, I’ll only become lazier—less active, less thoughtful. And that means losing purpose.
Becoming lazy is easy. Coming back from laziness is hard.
I feel it especially when I go to the gym. If I push myself too much, I get injured easily (LOL). But if I work out less, my body gets lazy fast. For example, I can run up the stairs easily now, but during the pandemic when gyms were closed, even climbing to the third floor felt like hell (LOL).
Balance and control matter so much more to me now.
So I paused for a week. I didn’t go out shooting. I just went to an exhibition I wanted to see and i visited other exhibtion to see my friends. It was only a week, but it gave me new ideas for my exhibition next year.
It’s good to create some space inside myself.
Thank you so much!!
Have a nice weekend!
😉👍💕